Depressed soul 1

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Feb 28, 2021

Depressed soul 1

What is depression?

Most people don't understand what this term means I mean I also can't tell the true definition of it but I'll give you a short annology of this disease.

For me I've gone through a lot in this life I have trust issues,so I can't confide in just anyone who comes my way,I have PTSD something that comes to most loners who have trauma,I also am bi-polar,took me a while to notice this fact, I said I have trust issues and am glad you don't know who I am because I doubt if I'd show my face to the world again, sometimes I get suicidal thoughts you k ow going through all this at my age and one just doesn't fit in anywhere although people say your "amazing"though deep down you don't feel the vibe anymore but anyway no one can ever understand the pain one goes through unless you've gone through it altogether

The sufferisuffering

Honestly this is the most frightening part of my life for a person like me am 21 years bytheway and I've gone through the suffering for as long as I can remember but it's always frightening to know what your going through,I like to term it as a break down because the mind just goes into a complete meltdown and you can't control it at all as old as I am people expect one to well focus on how your going to get a break through in life but it's sad that the unnecessary pressure one is going through is too much to bear and we'll the society is quick to judge on what the really don't understand,well personally I said I have bi-polar ty issues and honestly sometimes it's hard to control my negative me I end up doing things I didn't intend and either hurt someone or my self by that I mean I used to cut myself Everytime I was angry by then I didn't feel any pain or anything at all I guess that's what people called being heartless,anyway I didn't have feelings and trust me if you'd hurt me really bad I'd do something that you'd end up regretting however close we were.I also get insomnia when all those sad memories come flooding in, I wake up everyday at 2am and go back to bed at 5.30am up

 

How to cope

Well personally I love the darkness,hey don't blame me,it just gives me a sense of peace so Everytime I feel angry or hurt or depressed or suicidal I just lock my room and switch of the lights listen to my favourite music collection,well I love slow sad songs sometimes they cheer me up at that specific time and just let time pass 

 

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